They say making friends is easy. Well, when you’re an adult it is supposed to be right? Like for me and many other women out there its just as hard then when you were a kid. Are you that mom looking to find a person to vibe with, even if it is at the bus stop or the park? Well, I had that problem when I transitioned from “work mom” to “stay at home mom” a few years back. I never thought the role of being a mother would be lonely one after a move to a new state, but this changed my whole way of thinking.
I never had an issue ever making friends as a kid. People who knew me growing up always knew I had this “gift for gab” or like one teacher said to me, “You are a social butterfly”. But as I got older making friends and socializing is just as important as when you are a child. The friends you make as an adult go way beyond and become more like an “established relationship”.
I found myself in this funk of learning to make new friends all over again. I mean I have friends but in a new area no. Moving to a new place, not knowing anyone to at least hear what frustrations you have other than your spouse can be frustrating. I just had to let myself go and find where one could meet someone without looking like a weirdo or stalker. I just moved to a new apartment complex a few summers ago, I decided to take my kids to the pool. From there life began to change and I started to meet new people. On my first visit, I met two women, the icebreaker was my son Quincy, who like her boys was running and jumping, so talking became easy. The second encounter was meeting two women who lived on my side of the complex both who had girls around the same age as my children, but again it was my son who helped me to break the ice. My son Q , well let’s say he was marking his territory he decided to pick one of the “little girls”. Instead of playing with her and the rest of the kids choose to tease her and it took off from there. As the school year started I again saw one of the mothers who were in the second encounter at the pool. Her daughter and mine were attending the same school so we would see each other daily. This began the start of our friendship. After many conversations, food exchanges, pickups, and play dates we have established a connection that feels more like forever friends than the short time we had.
I was always the person who attracted people. My guess is I have that face that says hello, nice to meet you. When I moved, I felt that changed because no one approached me with a friendly vibe and I felt like the new girl in class. Before meeting these groups of women, I tried everything when I moved. I have joined the PTA, looked up mom groups, even broke the ice and spoke about the obvious like the weather. At times I felt like the girl trying to fit in and I felt like the stalker looking to fit in the “popular group”. What I felt is what many moms feel each and every day, hey just ask some of them.
I was going stir crazy; I decided to build my mom tribe. Your Mom tribe would be a small group of moms who are similar to you in what you like, commonalities and just fun people to hang with. Leave it to your kids to help you,”mom date”. What happens when you don’t have them will make the difference where you can fit in? Every mom needs a good friend no matter what age to feel like an individual and a person.
But you ask, how do you build your Mom Tribe? Here are a few ways you can?
Say Hello to your neighbors. Sometimes it can be close to home where another mom is starving for attention. Other moms at the park, pool and a local destination where kids gather have picked me up. Just stop and say hello. Do not know what to say? Talk about the weather and see where it goes from there!
Keep your promises. If you make plans with a local mom, keep them. Life does get in the way but you do not want to be known as the flighty mom or she doesn’t want to be bothered, mom. Be honest will help you keep your new relationships. The use of Social media helps when scheduling events or even meetups.
Scared to meet people, join a meetup group. If you’re afraid of just going up to random people. Joining a meetup group will be the icebreaker because others are there for the same reasons as you.
Let us not be alone in our journey to motherhood anymore. Find your tribe. Be apart of a sisterhood to help you along your way to being a better person and mom!